Now that the election is over ....

In an earlier post, I talked at length about the origins and now dominance of what I call the new majority in the United States. As a member of this group, I am, of course, ecstatic. Yet, I have many concerns.

As I watched the numbers increase during the last two decades, I also began to notice that rather than a bridge being constructed between the brown and black communities, we began to chip away at each other. Rather than recognizing our commonalities (one of my favorite words), it seemed that many of the members of both communities began to exhibit what is called the "crabs in the bucket" mentality. This mentality alludes to a bunch of crabs in a bucket, all attempting to climb to the top of the bucket and freedom, pulling each other down, somehow thinking "if I can't get it [freedom], neither can you. This saddened me tremendously. The black and brown communities share the same issues and problems: crime, drugs, teenage pregnancy, poverty, high drop-out rate and many more. Rather than recognizing our strength collectively, we began to denigrate and chip away at each other, each afraid the other would attain something the other lacked.

With the election of 2012, these two communities, along with the LBGT community, are now the new majority. I'll say that again, they are the new majority. This word brings with it power, both political and economic power. Now what are we going to do with it? We now have the power to exact not revenge, but fruit, fruit of the centuries of labor and enrichment of this country exacted from our ancestors. If, and this is a big IF, we work together collectively, we can move mountains. We can continue to elect politicians who will enact legislation that benefits the majority, not the minority. We can boycott businesses who treat our members unfairly. We can join and support each other in our respective battles. We can educate our young people both about the past battles and the battles to come. We must pass the baton on to these younger people so that they can do the same to their children. We can do a lot, collectively.

Be neither naive nor misled. The former majority is not going away quietly. Already, they are conferring behind closed doors in their country clubs and executive dining rooms. They are angry about the election loss. Their ethnocentrism and arrogance will not let them rest nor be satisfied with the wealth they've obtained through the abuse/misuse of the former minority. They will attempt to categorize the new majority as people with their hands held out for "goodies" or "handouts." They will attempt to create problems within the new majority. They will even find a few members of each respective group in the majority to join their team, promising them a share of their wealth and power. These "tokens" will attempt to convince members of their own group to join them.

Now is the time to continue the momentum. Don't stop with the presidential election. Vote in the off-year elections. We cannot afford to stand still nor to go backward.

Blessings,

Tee

Reaping What Was Sown

I read a blog post earlier today that inspired me to finally write something about the recent re-election of Barack Obama.

The post has, in my view, a general theme of the United States reaping what it has sown. It got me thinking of what I now called the New Majority. Rather than the oxymoronical term minority/majority, the demographics of the majority in the U.S. has changed. The majority is no longer white.

The name of one of my other blogs is America's Birth Defect - Racism. Oddly to some, the name came some Condolezza Rice said in an interview. Racism founded this country, made this country rich and for the most part did it with the free labor of slaves, indigenous peoples and poor whites. The white and wealthy elite have reaped the benefits of this stolen labor for centuries. Indeed, the major reason for the break from England that resulted in the Revolutionary War and the subsequent birth of the new nation was England's burgeoning abolitionist movement. Slavery was profitable and necessary for the new country. The Founding Fathers (most of them slaveholders) were willing to fight rather than give up the free labor necessary to build their new country.

African slaves and their descendants did not take the envisioned eternal stripping of their freedom lying down. From the onset, resistance, uprisings and other challenges were constant. Blood was shed, lives were lost, but the resistance continued. Freedom, and the longing for it, is something innate in a man, regardless his color.

As the centuries passed and the country grew, others of color joined the slaves and indigenous peoples in the building of the country. In later years, immigrants both legal and illegal, came to the U.S. in hopes of a better life for themselves and their families. Most were treated as second-class citizens, but still they came and their numbers grew. Initially, many if not most of these immigrants were so happy to be in the country they psychically shrugged off their second-class status and treatment. But, these people watched, learned and waited - patiently - as did the descendants of the formerly enslaved.


Meanwhile, the majority was busy reaping the earnings of the system they had created. Perhaps the thought, the wish, was that the second-class citizens though finally deemed 100% man rather than three-fifths were too ignorant to watch and learn. Please let me digress here by discussing, briefly, what came to be known as the Three Fifths Compromise.


As the new country grew and developed structures for the distribution of taxes and the apportionment of members of the new House of Representatives, the slave population also grew, especially in the south. This meant the slave population in a state determined not only the wealth of the state, but also its tax obligations. The northern states objected to this because it would mean the southern states were wealthier, while the southern states, of course, objected because of the larger tax burden to be placed on them. Thus, began what was actually a series of compromises, one in 1783 and another in 1787 that determined that slaves were only three-fifths of a white man.


And the disenfranchised, second-class citizens continued to labor, watch and most importantly, learn. Added to this rapidly growing group was the LBGT community, also a rapidly growing and politically significant part of the population. Yet, despite its wealth, education and other legacies, the majority group didn't pay attention, occasionally throwing tidbits of political crumbs at the minority group. Busily counting and continuing to amass their wealth, they failed to notice the growing size of the disenfranchised group and probably didn't even consider that the latter group might be also learning.


However, the minority group never stopped watching and learning, until 2008, when the black face of an African-American man named Barack Obama emerged as a serious threat to their complacency. By then, it was too late, and we all know the result. By 2012, the minority, disenfranchised group was no longer the minority. They asserted their political and re-elected Barack Obama. In their egocentric, arrogant complacency, the former majority group was so confident that their candidate would win they were celebrating before the final returns were counted. In fact, their candidate, Mitt Romney, wrote only an acceptance speech. (A fact that to this day truly stuns me!)


I have no sympathy for the former majority group. They are reaping EXACTLY what they sowed.


Blessings,


Tee

Why do we let age define us?

Earlier today, I watched CBS’ Sunday Morning. There was a segment on their correspondent, Susan Spencer, learning to ride a unicycle. Susan had just reached a milestone birthday (she didn’t indicate which one but I suspect it was her 60th). She was determined to learn something new – and daring. She found a woman on the Internet who has been unicycling for more than 25 years. Despites falls and missteps, Susan had a ball learning to ride the unicycle.

As I watched the segment, it finally dawned on me that I am one who has not let age, or the calendar, define who I am and my capabilities. As I’m marching toward a milestone birthday, several friends my age had made comments such as: “you know our life is more than half over;” “our best days are behind us:” “I’m too old to do that;” and my least favorite, “people our age don’t do that.” I say, psssh to all of that. Who said so? I have a friend who retired at age 52 with “no intention to ever work again.” Since then, he spends his days sprawled in his recliner with his remote in hand.

The dictionary defines retire as: to withdraw, to remove oneself, to fall back or retreat. Using these definitions, I don’t ever want to retire from life. I see life as a journey that has many paths, many chapters, many adventures. More than six years ago, I decided to make a career change at an age that many of my contemporaries were contemplating retirement in ten years or more. I am truly my mother’s child. My mother, in her 8th decade of living, is always up for a new journey, hobby or adventure. I always say were it not for her arthritis, she would bunjy jump. She has a desktop computer, a laptop and most recently purchased a tablet. A voracious reader, she’s always finding some new technology that interests her or a new hobby that she’ll pursue. I’m like my Mom. I decided - and not even consciously, it’s how I’m wired - that I’m going to pursue what interests me.

I suspect that this idea of slowing down as one enters their 50’s is primarily a Western custom. We work, work, work, then we retire to the armchair or recliner with the remote in hand. No wonder we die earlier than our contemporaries in other countries/cultures. We ride our cars everywhere, eat processed foods because we’re so busy with work to cook wholesome meals, we chase material things – the new car, the bigger house, the more expensive vacations – only to retire, withdraw.

I don’t let the calendar define, or limit, me. Life is for the living. For me, there’s no such thing as preparing for the end of my life, certainly not by withdrawing from life. As long as I’m blessed with good health and the ability to try and experience new things, I’m going to do just that. I know two languages, I want to learn an additional three: Spanish, Portuguese and Arabic. I want to start a business, or two. I want to start a foundation to assist the homeless. I want to travel. I want to learn, finally, to swim. And so much, much more.

Nearly thirty years ago, I talked with an elderly woman in the produce department of the local grocery store. After telling me how to prepare spaghetti squash, she told me that she learned it from an old Italian woman and concluded with “chile I’ll be learning until the day I’m laying in my grave.” I’m that elderly woman. I will be learning and enjoying this journey called life until the day they close the casket lid.

Be Blessed!
T

Gone too soon - Gary C. “Spanky” Cottrell, 12/25/1974-05/03/2011

Like a comet blazing cross the evening sky,
gone too soon

Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye,
gone too soon

Shiny and sparkly and splendidly bright, here one day, gone one night

Like the loss of sunlight on a cloudy afternoon,
gone too soon

Like a castle built upon a sandy beach,
gone too soon

Like a perfect flower that is just beyond your reach,
gone too soon

Born to amuse, to inspire, to delight, here one day,
gone one night,
gone too soon

Like a sunset dying with the rising of the moon,
gone too soon,
gone too soon

I will love you forever, Spanky,
Aunt "Treesa"

The Summer of My Contentment

I've spent the majority of my summer this year in my hometown of Pittsburgh. Since the transition of my father in March, 2008, I've been seriously considering moving from my home of 26 years in San Antonio back to my real home – Pittsburgh. Though there are numerous reasons for my desire to move back home, paramount among them is this simple fact: I've never stop missing Pittsburgh. I often tell friends, "I cry when I come home and cry when I leave." The reactions to my decision to move home have been mixed. It seems that a lot of the people who never left Pittsburgh feel that "there's nothing here in Pittsburgh, why would you ever want to come back?" Others ask, "why would you want to come back to the cold winters?" Others who moved away decades ago would never consider returning because "the city isn't what it used to be."

I've been gone from Pittsburgh for 26 years. During that 26 years, I've changed. I've remarried, had another son and divorced. I've had jobs where I had a prestigious title and made very good money. I've gained experience, education and training and have progressed through my career. I've gained much insight on my character and integrity and thankfully, have made progress on this journey called life. Many things have changed in the 26 years I've been gone. I say that to say that many things have changed in 26 years, Pittsburgh among them. When I left Pittsburgh in 1984, bus fare was $1.00. Gas was about that price. Gangs were practically non-existent. Violent crime was not as prevalent. The crack epidemic was just beginning. Housing prices were lower, as were wages. Groceries, of course, were cheaper. Many of the old neighborhoods were dramatically different from what they are today.

Change occurs to us all, both organic and non-organic. It is the way of the world, of humanity. Those who realize they have changed but are disappointed, even disgusted that the city has changed puzzle me. Do they really readily accept the change in themselves but somehow expect Pittsburgh to be stuck in some time warp? Pittsburgh has consistently been rated as one of the top cities in the U.S. in which to live. Pittsburgh has one of the lowest crime rates for cities of comparable size. And, Pittsburgh is one of the few cities which has been able to successfully reinvent itself following the collapse of the U.S. steel industry.

Each year when I come home, I go on a "nostalgia" trip through the neighborhoods of my youth, East Liberty and the far East End. It saddens me that the old neighborhoods have changed. It saddens me that I can't drive through the neighborhood where my grandmother spent the majority of her adult life. It saddens me that Isaly's, Alexander's, Sun Drug Store, Poli's and many other businesses that existed during my youth no longer exist. However, there are new businesses that offer both the same goods and new goods.

Yet, the new Pittsburgh invites and embraces me as did the Pittsburgh of my youth and young adulthood. The people are still some of the friendliest people I've encountered. There still exists a strong sense of community in Pittsburgh. Housing is still affordable. There's no price that can be attached to being in the grocery store and encountering a childhood friend not seen in years, or a friend of my parents, or a classmate from high school. I can still buy a hot sausage at Frankie's Hot Sausage, though it's now on Butler Street. I can still go to Kennywood and ride the Racers and get food from the Potato Patch. I can ask for chipped ham and Jumbo in Giant Eagle and not be given a questioning look. I can go to the Carnegie Library and spend hours, just browsing. I can visit the Aviary and marvel at the beauty of the birds. I can go to the Strip District to buy fresh vegetables, spices and of course, seafood at Robert Wholey's. And, though Three River's Stadium no longer exists, I can still attend a Steeler, a Pirate or a Penguin game. And, what can one say about the new Soutside, a neighborhood where I worked for nearly 10 years!

This summer, I've also been acquainting myself with the new elements and revitalized neighborhoods of Pittsburgh. East Liberty is in the midst of another revitalization and I'm confident this one will succeed. I'm a city girl and have no wish to live in the suburbs. I want to catch a bus downtown. I want to walk to a park. I want to stroll along the streets. I want to ride a bike through a neighborhood. I miss the smell of the old NBC bakery that permeates my childhood memories, but I'm looking forward to the condos being built there and hope to be one of the first residents.

Though I've done most of these things this summer, the most important thing I've been able to do is spend time with family and close friends. There is no substitute for family and close friends. I have friends in Pittsburgh who, though we've not seen each other in years, can pick up right where we left off years ago. I've also spent time just sitting and absorbing the beautiful greenery and nature that is Pittsburgh. I sit in the mornings and listen to the conversations of the birds. In the evenings, I listen to the conversations of the crickets and cicadas. I watch deer cross backyards in the early mornings.

No matter what occurs in the months ahead as I return to San Antonio, I've had this summer of contentment, this summer of peace. For those who've left Pittsburgh and deride it because the neighborhoods as they knew them in their youth no longer exist, I say yes, that is true, but the Pittsburgh of today is a different yet same Pittsburgh. The city has changed but so have you. For those who never left Pittsburgh and feel that there's nothing in Pittsburgh, I remind them of what Dorothy said in The Wizard of Oz, "there's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no ………"

Blessings,

T

When Your Grown “Kids” Don’t Need You Anymore

I admit that for the last few years, I've been going through Empty Nest Syndrome. My chicks have flown the coop and are doing what I raised them to do – stand on their own two feet and go out and be men, forging their own road, following their own journey. For the first time in 28 years, I'm living alone and trying to decide who I will be on the next leg of this journey called life. One of the first things I did was to decide to make a career change and I am happily in the midst of doing that. Yet…….

Being Mom has been a HUGE part of who I've been for the majority of my adult life. While, intellectually, I realize that my sons won't need me in the same way they needed me as they were growing up, I admit that I wasn't quite ready for the lack of being needed, at least needed as much. Neither of my sons are mama's boys, so I didn't expect the phone to be ringing constantly asking for advice nor did I expect daily visits or even phone calls. What is surprising to me is that I don't exactly have a place in their lives as men, or to put it more succinctly, an easily-defined place in their lives as men. Sometimes, it seems that I'm this ghost of a person, waiting in the wings, overseeing things from a distance, ready to advance forward and assist, IF needed or asked. Weekend plans don't seem to factor in Mom. If I suggest an activity that includes me, they already have plans that somehow won't accommodate me. It seems that when I am included in an activity, it's for a short window of time, not the entire day or several hours, because they have other plans that don't include me. On some level I understand this. On another level, this kind of hurts. I remember being in my 20's and 30's and spending time with my parents was not a part of my regular weekend activities. Yet, I also remember many times that my social calendar included activities with my parents.

As I was contemplating writing this blog post, I realized that I owed my mother an apology. In an odd segue, I recalled an incident that occurred earlier this year while I was home visiting my family. Now, I should preface this segment with the fact that though (like everyone) I have my insecurities, my cooking ability is not one of them. I am a very good cook and I absolutely love cooking. One evening, I was pan-frying some fish. My mother (whose age I won't mention here, but suffice it to say is several decades older than I) was seated in the kitchen at the time. As I was frying the fish, she commented, "you know, fish doesn't take a long time to cook. It only takes a few minutes on each side. Most people overcook fish." I admit the comment irritated me and I said, "Mom, I know how to cook fish. I've been cooking fish a long time and in fact, I prepare and eat fish and seafood almost exclusively." (I am pretty much a pescetarian [someone who primarily eats seafood and vegetables.]) My response irritated and somewhat hurt my mother and she said, "T nobody knows everything and everybody can learn something from somebody." At the time, I didn't understand her reaction and in fact, thought she over-reacted. Upon retrospection, I understand that my mother, even acknowledging that I am a long-grown woman, needed to be needed, needed to feel that she could contribute something to her grown daughter. I'm sorry for my reaction, Mom. I didn't understand that at the time. I do now.

Several years ago, when my older son was dating a young woman, he remarked to me that "everyone knows the girlfriend comes first." I wondered at the time who in the world had told him this. Everyone has seen the big-time sports star on the field who says, "Hi, Mom" when the camera is on him. I felt small and unimportant when my son told me this. As he has continued on in his journey of manhood, there have been numerous times when I felt that I was unimportant in his life. Not that I sat on the pity pot feeling sorry for myself all the time, but nobody had prepared me for the way my role as mother would change once my sons became men. Don't get me wrong. I know my sons love me, would defend me to the death and would be devastated should anything happen to me. Yet …..

What is the definition, the role, the place, for a mother of grown "kids?" Yes, I know all the intellectual responses to the question. We reforge our own lives. We reshape our lives so, while remaining available should our children need us, we pursue other interests and use our talents and passions in other areas. We take those spontaneous trips out of town that we couldn't take when our children were little. We take a class. We find a hobby. We make new friends and schedule activities with them. We write blogs. J We fill up our time with other things. Yet ….

I miss being needed the way I once was. I miss the filling of the space I once filled in my children's lives. I miss being a participant in their planned social calendar. I guess I just miss being Mom.

Blessings,

T

Conversations

Today, I sat in a chair in front of my family's home in Pittsburgh and attempted to read a book on my Kindle. It was a beautiful, somewhat overcast, summer day. Though the book was very interesting, I found myself continually being distracted by the conversations around me. Usually, when we think of conversations, we think of the conversations of people – conversations between people around us, conversations in the immediate area, conversations on the television, conversations on the radio or even the conversations in cars that pass by on the road. I'm talking about different kinds of conversations. Because of the absence of people and their conversations, what I heard was the conversations of nature, of God's creations. I heard the conversation of the wind rustling through the many trees. I heard the conversations of different species of birds as they chirped, tweeted and sang back and forth. I heard the conversations of the leaves as they brushed against each other in the trees. I heard the conversations of the insects as they flew around me. I even heard the conversation of the wind as it caused the blades of grass to brush against each other. All of these conversations caused me to stop and give pause. So often we (humans) see ourselves as the largest and perhaps most beautiful and important of God's creations. We get so got up in our own world, our troubles, our challenges, our goals and our plans that we forget all about the other creations of our Creator.

Though the conversations I observed today were in a language different than my own, the conversations were beautiful and awe-inspiring. For a while, these conversations caused me to cease concerning myself with problems that had been occupying my mind. I was reminded of Mathew 10:24-31 in which Jesus says that if God takes care of the sparrow, He will certainly take care of us. As we get caught up in the worries and concerns of our daily lives, we often forget this.

Take time out of your busy day sometime and just sit and listen to the conversations around you and be reminded that we are His creation and He will provide for us just as He does the sparrow.

Blessings,

T